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i forgot to mention

that i have been up since four, fucking back pain is a bitch.

i got my DL done, my registration replaced, the SS office shut me down, i had a student id (on their list as approved) and the prick behind the window told me it was "too old" (2004)...i was like, have i morphed? it is still me in the picture, it still state university issued picture id...which your list says you will take, nothing about it being current...anyway he was a douchebag and wouldn't take it and i told him that i hoped one day he had to spend all day dealing with undereducated and overpaid bureaucrats with a three year old in tow in 95 degree heat, and that i hoped he ran into somebody just like himself. with a little smile, of course. i hope i get him again when i go back with my official transcript and my newer student id. fucker.
the best part is that i can't dismiss my tickets cause the fucking cop hasn't entered them into the system yet. 11 days. i have 48 hours to log my client notes into the system or we don't get paid. why is this world so fucked up? and get this...if he doesn't put them in within 21 days, when they do get in they will be in warrant status and i will have to go to open court. that is a whole day, where i go tell my sob story to a judge about my wallet and he dismisses the motherfucking shit anyway. and we wonder why out teachers don't get paid?
and i didn't make it to the bank. vincent was an ANGEL, no problems, kept saying," i am a pirate in my rolling seat! hey mama! i know, let's do walking like a dinosaur (insert growling) and can i have an apple please? thank you!" that when we left the municipal court building (after the ss building, the city hall building, the records building, and municipal court) if we could "go home and vincent will watch charlie and lola and build a nest?" (blanket and snack on the couch) i could hardly refuse him. the fucking bank shit will hold till monday.
i am sweaty and kinda stinky and i may take vinny into a nice clean cool shower after charlie and lola.
ppppppppphew.

zippity doo dah

here is my to-do list today:

1. go to DMV for replacement driver's license
2. go to records building for replacement vehicle registration
3. go to municipal court with above two documents plus current insurance card
4. go to ss office to file for replacement card
5. go to bank to have fraud report/charge dispute notarized and faxed to main fraud dept.

can you tell i lost my wallet?
yep. last week, last wednesday to be exact, i went to the mall with my irl mama friend, then left there, went to hobby lobby for quilt supplies and then to my parent's, where i ate dinner and stayed until my mama gave vinny his bath and we went home. the next morning, chase called to report that somebody had used my card to buy gas. i never buy gas on credit cards, i guess this flagged it? anyway, went to look in my purse and NO WALLET.
the little prick who picked it up tried to do some damage, did a little, got turned away from a stereo store where he was trying to spend $676 on a car stereo, which they debited and credited twice, since he couldn't produce ID, then when he claimed it was his mother's card, he couldn't get phone verification (thank maude). and thank maude again that i for once in my life had enough money in the bank that 1500 missing for almost four days while the credits posted didn't DESTROY me, this is a miracle.
anyway, my FUCKING social security card was in there since the last monday i had done my I9 at work. nice.
well, those of you who still dip into the nuthouse that is hipmama these days may have seen my appeal to dragon chic for a spell to stop any madness like identity theft from going on...she is on the case, haha, for an atheist i sure am superstitious, huh?
soooooooooo
today with my little sidekick, a bag of toys and a lot of change for meters (all shit is downtown, no lots, all just a bit too far apart to stroll. plus it is still in the low 90's here so fuck it) i will go replace all of my documents that i can't replace online or over the phone.
oh and also, i had two citations cause i work in the ghetto and i got snagged in a "safety stop" and got a citation for my insurance card not being up to date (i have insurance, just hadn't swapped out the cards) and i lost this year's registration sticker and never bothered to replace it, since it is in the cop's computer in their car that it is current. i know this cause i was pulled over for it once before. nice. that guy didn't ticket me cause he could see the current data, this guy was nice, but said in a "safety stop" (this is where 5 cop cars line up and pull over anybody they can for any visible reason and then run licenses. in this neighborhood, i am sure it is a jackpot of warrants, etc) they have to write tickets.
it is neither here nor there. my documents will get both citations dismissed, i just have to go jump through the hoops.
oh, and the tickets were IN MY WALLET, so i get to go in person. whhhooooo me!
anyway, i gotta get dressed and bolt, at least vincent slept in and is watching yo gabba gabba while i do this, having his milk and string cheese. i have a snack bag and a toy bag all ready to go, he is excited about riding in his "rolling seat". wheeeeee!
oy vey.
if i don't report back by ohhh, say 3 pm, call the red cross.
bye!

a recent picture of the love of my days

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why do i live here?

i hate texas, i hate dallas, i hate the conservative jesusville bullshit feel of this place, mixed with the oh, you mean this isn't los angeles? snobbery of the nouveau riche makes it almost unbearable.
and the heat. the unrelenting, hot sticky humid dirty motherfucking HEAT, it is wretched and soul-sucking, it has made me an indoor, stationary, sedentary fat person. i lose 10 pounds withing a month of it cooling off. imagine if i lived somewhere temperate.
so, i am focusing on phoenix house being my ticket to los angeles. they have programs there and i am going to make sure that i make a mark that will allow me to get a job in one of them as soon as i am ready.
that, and my other goals, career wise:
1. wait, not so patiently, for my temporary LPC to be processed. another reason to hate texas today. sure, all state bureaucracy is slow, but i am on a roll.
2. once it arrives, apply directly to hickory trail for the mobile assessment position that my supervisor told me he would push for me to get.
3. call doris the flake at promise house to see if she has any funding for a therapist that can't bill medicaid. i mean, they asked for money to pay a therapist, if they are only going to hire one that can bill medicaid, why did they wait for funding? double dipping? i need to call and ask her these things. she will probably not know, but she will pretend to know, and then i will send an email to the program director, innocently of course, making sure she isn't full of it.
4. get registered for the offender education certification courses that are being offered in november. seriously, i need to hurry up on these things. i am paying now for dragging my ass on the LPC paperwork.
5. put together a website for a private practice. dan thinks my idea is lucrative. i need to work on the plan.
so these things are what i need to do. by next week, i hope to be able to set dates for their accomplishment.

as i was writing this, vincent was coloring all over the play room wall with hot pink chalk. awesome.

new stuff

new...
job! yay. i loved the idea of working at an abortion clinic, and the one i have been at since february is as good as they get, but i am not a medical assistant (although i have now seen more vagina than probably a lot of industrious lesbians my age) and i am overqualified for the "counseling" part of it. so, i kept looking and just got a much better paying job with phoenix house, which is less hours but the same take home due to the way better money, and as a bonus is a huge national company with locations in socal. so, that might come in handy when i finally extricate myself from jesusvania.
new...
treadmill! yeah! and time to walk on it every day! now i need...
new...
running shoes! cause my knees and hips hurt after i walk and i think this is why. or at least part of why. this gives me...
new...
hope that i can lose the rest of this weight! for realz.
new...
advances in potty training, which i haven't really done anything about yet, since every major thing with vincent so far has been effortless if i let him tell me what he is ready for...he weaned himself, he dropped his bottle habit, he will use the potty soon. he now sits on the mini ring on the pot with a book for ten or fifteen minutes while i do my hair or whatever, and he looks so big, it breaks my heart. being diapie free will not break my heart however. gooooo vincent! which reminds me...almost time for...
new...
vincent age...uh, my kid is about to be three! when the fuck did that happen? yikes.

adding to the list...

or not!!!!
gahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
going to meditation group tonight. i need it.

happy monday

i am already awake, had breakfast, coffee and even a cigarette. vincent is still sleeping, and i am making a list, yeah, again.

one hour (at most)  in each of these rooms:

living room/dining room
my bedroom
vincent's bedroom

oh! i hear vincent! haha. i will return to this shortly.

blah

working four days this week, long ones, and tomorrow the longest of all, has put me in a funk, for sure. i am so tired. i miss vincent. i am sort of perpetually pissed at josh for many minor reasons. i am disgusted with my health and the shape i am (not) in. i can't keep up with my household. i am tired.
there is a solution coming, in a week or so. i am going to concentrate on preparing my mind and my body and my environment for this solution, this gift, really.
will be back in a less maudlin mood then, promise.

today

enough with the procrastination, being sick, and other factors conspiring to keep me from organizing my life...
it is almost noon, i have had a great morning with vincent and he is eating lunch. i am going to gun straight for a nap which may or may not happen since he slept in, but whatever.

the lists, room by room:
dining room:
go through book shelves for books to sell. thin the herd. nothing sentimental, but be honest
clear off the table to prepare for making the rest of the pendants that you owe people
other side of the table--set up for sewing
dust
sweep
decide where you want your new *treadmill* to go. so fucking excited!!!!
laundry room/kitchen/playroom...
just clean it up, get stuff outta the laundry room that doesn't go there

hallway:
get the fucking shit organized that is piled up in your organization system. i mean really.

bathroom:
skinny closets...clean them out. IF VINCENT NAPS....this one can't be done with him on the loose.
make pillowcase hamper thingee for the back of the door. oooh, i can do this while i give vincent 30 minutes to fal asleep.

that is enough for now.

**edit at 5:30 pm, vinny didn't nap, i didn't do much, again, but we had a fun day together. the play room looks like a romper room gone wrong, but that is five minutes. right now i am getting us ready to go to the supermarket for some things for the week. tonight, josh and i are going to put things away that are in the hallway.

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I PASSED!

alright i don't even think i posted about taking my national counselor exam today, but i did, and i passed. i was underprepared, but did well, considering.
I PASSED! which is all that really matters.
whew.

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